In honor of my birthday passing I wanted to share some of the important lessons and advice I’ve learned through the years as a woman, although a lot of this can apply to men to. I am also still working on my financial literacy series (I go through the motions and learn for myself as I’m sharing with all of you). So I’ve been further getting my life together just so I can continue to share. BUT in the mean time a light hearted break about something other than money and adulting … 24 things I learned by 24:
1. Don’t give in to FOMO
We all want to have fun and be apart of something due to the fear of missing out. But I’ve always come to the realization later you’re never missing out when you’re getting your sh** together. I have way more fun when I’m out and my business is taken care of.
2. Learn to love yourself and take care of yourself now
From what I’ve seen it only gets harder as you get older. Enjoy your solitude and getting to know yourself and your traumas in while in your twenties. It’s a lot easier to get stuck in your ways as you get older.
3. Never make someone your whole world
…because when or if they leave, you’ll be left with nothing. Love hard, but practice healthy attachment.
4. Quality over quantity
This especially applies to friendships. You really only need a few solid people in your corner. Make sure they love you, support you, and hold you accountable. Anyone who makes your being feel uneasy needs to go. Always go where the love is. We’re too old for “frenemies” or whatever the kids call it these days.
5. Make sure that you love whatever you do
Going to a sh**y job that you hate every day takes a toll on your mind and body. Not to mention your loved ones whom you see every day will probably have to deal with your attitude when you come home. The people you work with or work for will feel your lack of interest and energy. No amount of money is worth it. Do us all a favor and find something you can tolerate at the very least.
6. Don’t ever force anything
An uncomfortable outfit, friendships, or a relationship. Not to say that great things don’t take work because they absolutely do. But don’t force ANYTHING. What is meant to be yours will always be just that. If someone gave you a gift that was clearly meant for someone else would you accept it? No, of course not! You would be offended and you probably wouldn’t like the gift because it was picked with someone else in mind. Allow what is meant for you to happen for you. Be patient.
7. Always look and feel your best
When you look good you feel good, and when you feel good you most likely look good. The quote “happy girls are the prettiest girls” seems cliche but it’s actually pretty true. When I am happy and taking care of myself my eyes are brighter, my skin is clear and it glows, my hair looks amazing. It’s all a matter of your best beauty regimen starting with all that you have going on, on the inside. Take care of yourself and it will show!
8. Be exclusive with your time
Be careful with how you spend your free time and who you spend it with. Time is a currency just like money. Are you adding to your bank account or only subtracting to it? We all have the same 24 hours, but how we spend it is what makes all the difference. Be mindful and make that time count. Spend it with people who are just as interested as bettering themselves as you are. Be around those who inspire you and have something to offer your mind, your sense of peace, or your happiness.
9. Monitor your self talk/thoughts
We create our reality with the things that we say. If we talk and think as though we are lacking that is exactly what we will experience. If we talk and think like the universe/god/whatever you believe in is working in our favor and that we are always abundant, we will see and receive that abundance.
10. Stop wishing and start BEING
People always operate based on who they believe they are. If you believe you are a slacker and a procrastinator that is unmotivated, then you’ve already accepted that as your truth. If you already put into your mind that you are a boss, an entrepreneur, or whatever else you desire then that’s what you are. Start playing the role of who you want to be and stop wishing for it. The moment you claim and accept who you are is the moment you have chosen. Choose your “being” wisely.
11. Always follow through on your commitments and obligations
Confident people always follow through with what they say they are going to do. They bet on themselves therefore other people bet on them too. The same applies to your commitments to other people and outside sources. Prove yourself reliable and the opportunities and support will never stop. Bet on yourself and don’t be flaky.
12. DON’T burn unnecessary bridges
You never know who you will need for what later on in life. Be humble and nurture all of your relationships. Don’t just base them on what someone can do for you. Life will make you the footstool of the person you once thought was beneath you if you aren’t careful. Anyone is capable of being a lifeline at one point or another.
13. Take care of your skin now, it will thank you later !
I don’t care how tired you are, girl wash your face! Don’t fall asleep with your makeup on..not even once. Don’t skip a single opportunity to exfoliate or moisturize. Use that eye cream now, your youthful liking bright eyes at age 50 will thank you!!! I’m no expert but I have a mother who looks 15 years younger than her age. Loving hard and taking care of yourself will do that for you.
14. “I don’t have time” isn’t a valid excuse anymore
When my cousin who works full time just like I do and happens to also be a full time mom told me that she goes to the gym every day… I wanted to slide under the table in shame. I am ALWAYS saying I don’t have time. I’m busy but I don’t have a whole other being to tend to. Let’s all be like my cousin and MAKE TIME for what is important.
15. Tell your people you love them daily
Love on your loved ones while they are still here. This year has truly shown us already through the examples of public figures how short life actually is. Another day isn’t promised. Make time to love on those who mean the most to you while you still can.
16. Stop bleaching your hair so damn much
Invest in a wig! I cringe at my impulsive younger self. All that bleaching and changes of color killed my curls at one point and I regretted it later. Now I can be blonde for a night and look amazing and then come home and take it off and keep my luscious curly hair as healthy as it is. It gets no better. Wig it up ladies it’s so much fun.
17. Stop saying “I’ll do it later” and do it NEOW
Later turns into never. Later is the phrase of a procrastinator. We might not even have later so just do it now.
18. Take nothing in this life personal
We are all just living out our own realities. We have differing truths and reasons from our actions due to our very different traumas and circumstances. Nothing that is done is ever because of you. We are all just doing what is best for our individual selves and it doesn’t have to always make sense to the outside world. Don’t take any of it personal and don’t allow it to steal your joy.
19. Go to therapy
It’s 2020 and we all have a therapist. Who ever insinuated that you have to be damaged to go to therapy LIED. It’s always good to have someone to guide you on your journey to emotional intelligence and understanding the self. We aren’t taught how to cope with certain things or even communicate and comprehend properly. Therapy is necessary for everyone. There are all kinds of time convenient and cost effective means for therapy sessions. I’ll probably write about this and link some resources at a later date.
20. Pray and meditate daily
I’m religious and very spiritual and was raised to be that way. I was always taught that whether things are bad or good you should pray and dig deep within yourself. Whether you believe in a god, god(s), the universe, or whatever else take time for you. Be still and be silent and allow your feelings and emotions to pass through you without judgement. Pray and set intention for what you want. Pray and be grateful for what you have.
21. Be open to love in all of it’s forms
Romantic love is not the only love there is. Appreciate all the love that is around you and focus on it. Nurture your family ties and your friendships the same way you would a relationship. This is your best practice at loving and receiving love. It all starts here.
22. Always have a comfortable change of shoes
Keep some slides or flats in a bag when you go out! Looking cute is all fun and games until your feet start feeling like they’ve been ran over by a tractor. Some shoes were meant to look cute in and nothing else. walk to your destination in your comfy shoes and then stunt at your destination. You’ll thank me later.
23. Health is wealth
You can’t conquer the world if your body is ran into the ground. Invest in your health the way you would your business. If your body fails so will all your hard work.
24. Until you own something more than Luxury items, you’re still broke…
I know broke people with designer clothing items and accessories and it blows my mind. A lot of your instagram faves have a ton of followers but no money. What you invest in should always be making you money. That Chanel bag isn’t making you money in your sleep. Invest in properties, a business, stocks and bonds. The rest will come as a result. Don’t live above your means! Being reckless with your money in order to flex isn’t cute.
And one to grow on…..
25. Believe in yourself and in your vision ALWAYS.
Not everyone will like you or support you in the beginning and thats okay ! Hard work and consistency will prove itself over time. Your gifts are meant for a purpose much bigger than just recognition. That’s only the icing on the cake. Continue to do what you love and grow. The people who slept on you will be cheering in the crowd later on, I promise you.
I hope you guys enjoyed this long overdue post and at least took a thing or two from it to apply to your own life.
Nori the most belated of birthday girls <3