One of the most cliché but true sayings I have ever heard is “trust the process”. I used to think it meant looking at your life being in shambles and just letting it fall to shit just waiting for it to magically get better with blind faith. To a certain extent that is true, but it’s much deeper than that. It’s understanding that although you are hurting and things are not perfect at the moment things are going to work out in the best way possible and that there is a purpose behind it all. But there’s work to be done within that realization. I had to learn to trust that there is a lesson and a reason behind my pain.
There has been a theme of loss in my life for the past couple years. I’ve had so much happen in such a short amount of time that you would think I would be feeling angry or hopeless. I’ve let a lot of people go. I’ve let go of old ideas and old parts of myself that are no longer true to who I am that I once thought were so concrete. Some would have expected me to be bitter or angry about these hard experiences but I found myself to be the exact opposite. I’m content and proud of myself.
Life brought me to a point of having no other option but to trust what is going on with me. If there’s anything I trust it’s what the universe has in store for me. I’ve never gone without. I’ve never been put in a situation I wasn’t able to handle. In doing so, I catch on to the purpose of my lessons much quicker. My intuition carries me through every situation. Even when I hit rock bottom something inside of me forces myself to pick up the pieces and keep going. If I didn’t keep my grass cut and stop watering dead relations, if I didn’t step out on faith and quit my job, if I didn’t break my own heart and let go of toxicity I would have lost so much more than the temporary losses I experienced.
My intuition brought me to every scary decision I have made and it is yet to fail me. When things aren’t right in my life my whole body will reject everything I am consuming both mentally and physically, that is poisoning my being. When you know yourself you can never lose. When you do it’s more often than not a temporary loss that comes with that kind of clarity. But I’ve learned I rather lose the worldly things that are tangible and lose people around me than to lose myself.
I would have lost myself and compromised what I require. There are times where if I didn’t listen to myself I know my life would have been way worse than just having bruised feelings or experiencing disappointment. You can bounce back from that. But discounting yourself and losing yourself trying to please others will leave you empty. We all require different things to function properly on an emotional level. Think of your requirements emotionally as apart of your survival and you’ll never discount yourself again (it’s like a life line and if you cut my life line I’m ready to fight and get rid of you completely). Your emotional well being is what helps you survive. Walk away from any and everything taking away from your survival. If your mind isn’t right your body won’t be either. They mirror one another.
Being forced to walk alone has made me rely on the only person I have at the end of every day: Myself. I have to be okay with me and with my decisions and the direction of my life. If nothing in your life seems to be working for you, if you find all of your relationships and business partnerships are leaving you empty, if nothing seems to be making you happy: Regroup, reflect, and reinvent. The three R’s I just mentioned center me often and bring me back to a place that is grounded, a place of stability. I’m about to give you guys the keys to being content with yourself. I fought like hell to get to this space so I hope these realizations help you get to a place of peace within yourself too.
When you are greatly unhappy and can’t figure out why, when you are always seeming to be misunderstood or overlooked, or if you are just plain bored with your life: REGROUP. Take a look around you and ask if you are happy with that job that makes you a ton of money but gives you no sense of purpose or joy. If there is constant drama in your life, or you are constantly stressed out, feeling less than around people who are supposed to be loved ones, etc. then take a look around you and ask yourself if you’re holding on to something genuine or if you’re holding on to what’s familiar and comfortable ? Maybe it’s time to weed out who no longer adds to your life and no longer makes you happy. Maybe the people you love have been stunting your growth. We outgrow people sometimes and that’s okay.
It’s important to reflect on how you got to be so unhappy or how you got yourself into all these one sided surface level relationships with others. Take responsibility for your habits. Understanding why you repeat certain unhealthy cycles is the first step to breaking that cycle. Identify what feelings trigger you to make decisions that bring you pain or temporary satisfaction. Make yourself a promise that you won’t keep repeating the same mistakes and set standards and boundaries. Set a standard for your life. Set a standard of what the job you are meant to have should be like. Set boundaries for those around you. Make it clear what is bothering you or what you need for a healthy relationship with others. Those that love you will respect those boundaries. Those that don’t will walk away. Let them. They didn’t respect you anyway.
Set a standard for what friendships and love should look like to you (but be realistic). Set a standard for carrying out your self worth. Set boundaries for how you treat yourself. If you are your biggest critic make an effort to be more kind to yourself. Uplift yourself, allow yourself space to make mistakes and be less than perfect. We teach people how to treat us. And our thoughts run parallel to what is going on in our life. Change your habits and change your way of thinking. All else will follow. If you don’t know about law of attraction look into it and watch your life change drastically.
Last but not least don’t forget to take your reflections and your new understanding of self and turn it into something great. R E I N V E N T you life, yourself, your mindset. Your life can be art. Your life can be a whole ass masterpiece if you take control and decide that’s what you want. Have a vision and get started. If you don’t like what you’ve started on… YOU’RE THE ARTIST. Reinvent yourself. Start over as many times as you like until you get it right. Treat your body and your decisions like the masterpiece they are. When you’re an artists you’re sensitive about your shit (Erykah Badu). Be sensitive about yourself about everything that makes your entity what it is. Protect yourself (your art).
Don’t just let anyone treat you any kind of way. Don’t let people take over your vision for your life. Don’t allow just anyone around your canvas/your masterpiece, be selective. Don’t just settle for the shit people will try to feed you. If you think you deserve better in this life go find better. If you think you can be better than the version of yourself that you are right now go find a way to do that. But do it with the understanding that you might have to walk alone. You might not be able to relate to the people around you anymore and that’s okay. When you’re living your truth and your life has purpose you’ll meet YOUR people. Like minded people, who will push you to grow and be your best self. People that will respect your feelings, what you’re about, and what you require. You will find everything that’s meant for you; every opportunity and every ounce of love and success meant for you when you’re doing what’s best for you. Know yourself first.